apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
