i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
