"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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