Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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