i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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