How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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