also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
