Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
