she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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