Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize