i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
