i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
