Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
