We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
