so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
