He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
