you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have aggressive nipples.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
