good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
