u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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