The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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