Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
