If i come over, it means nothing
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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