feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
No subtext here. People are naked.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
