Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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