i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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