I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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