i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
