I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
