its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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