shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Soap is not a condiment
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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