I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
