youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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