Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
