Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
