The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
