Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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