I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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