I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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