Me too!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize