She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
