I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
