how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
