Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we made out on top of his cat.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
