Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
