i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
