I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
There's a naked man in my car right now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
