did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize