Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
