apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
