So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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