the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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