dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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