K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
