Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
