when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
