Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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