You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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