it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
