he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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