You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
