awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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