Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If I die, sorry about rent.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
