Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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