chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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