It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i think im in europe. pls send help
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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