remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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