I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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