When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Ketchup is God's man juice
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
