Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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